Aug

Summer Pot Pourri

Now that Labor Day is just around the corner, I thought it was the best time to update my blog on the summer city-escapades!
And for arguments sake lets pretend I meant to do this entry now, and not that I let time pass and am now somehow playing catch-up. Try and say it, I’ll deny it!

Moving on… this was actually quite an eventful summer. I convinced my brother to move to Chicago, I graduated from the Second City Training Center Improv program, kept up my training for the marathon, did a drinking trolly (not my proudest moment), and Grief Bacon (our sketch/improv girl group) made several appearances throughout the city of Chicago. Yeah, I’m cool like that. I’m kind of a big deal… in my head.
Most importantly, I convinced Jose to move! His “look-see” trip started with a meal at an Irish pub in Old Town.

I’m already winning.

Gratuitous food shot.

The weekend Jose came was also the 8mile run for training, and I made him come with me to the run. The forever trooper he is, he came and he ran 6miles. I promised him crepes and farmer’s market.

I think I delivered!

On Sunday I followed up with a Red Sox v Cubs match up. Yeah, Old Epstein v New Epstein. Little did we know at the time that it would also be one of Youk’s last games with the Red Sox. He bleached them soon thereafter.

Big Pappy was *thisclose*

That’s Youk!

Beer and baseball go together like peanut butter and jelly.

So… In my never-ending quest to convince my brother to move to Chicago I packed the weekend in with cupcakes AND comedy!

Red Velvet and cream cheese frosting between baseball and comedy.

Yes, it was perfect and hilarious. We met up with Aimee and Jen for a drink and then all headed over to laugh with not at: Marc Maron (my favorite), Hannibal Buress, and others – hosted by Sarah Silverman. Silverman was great, and on point! I laughed so hard I had tears coming down my cheeks. I also felt more neurotic after than I did before.

Funny side note about the evening: when we left it was POURING. There were no cabs, and there would still be so much walking after we rode the train that Jose and I thought it was best just to walk all the way back to my place. We were soaked through. Worth it. Totally worth it.

***

Well, the trip wasn’t over, and we were celebrating. SO, I made a reservation at Girl & the Goat

It’s all it’s hyped up to be and more. It’s also where I ate meat. You don’t go somewhere with goat in it’s name and eat peas. I would put up with the illness JUST to eat. So, I did. Below is a series of pictures of the food. It’s just food porn. It is. Don’t look if you’re hungry, it won’t be pretty. But it was so pretty, and we had such a good time, it was hard to choose the pictures! And I edited, so there’s more where that came from!

Harmasa Crudo

Roasted Beet Salad

Green Beans

Goat Loin

Proof of the meat eating that would make me sick for the following week. Worth it. Worth. Ever. Bite.

PIG FACE!!!!

How Pig Face looks after you’ve mixed it together. YUMMMMM!!!!

Dessert #1

Dessert #2

Followed Swiftly by Food Coma.

***

We ran again. I think we felt guilty about the gluttony that we committed. Not really, this was the 312 run. We ran for beer… and company. Alyson, Jose, Laura, Melissa and me owned those 3miles in the blistering heat. They cancelled the 5miles because of that heat, so yeah, we’re badasses.

And we got sweet wayfarers.

I will now go back to thinking about my life in a vacuum. I’m going to tear and examine every single choice that I’ve made or not made, why I chose like that, decide if I should change anything, and ultimately be too lazy to do anything about it. This Saturday will be exactly 2 years since I moved to Chicago. I’ve managed to accomplish some things, but like Ariel in “The Little Mermaid,” I want more.

OK, I don’t want to sound like the entitled little jerk she was at the beginning of the Disney movie, but you know the reference, and I bet you even sang the line. I just now need to think about what my next steps are going to be. I finished Second City, my reason for moving here, what do I do now? What am I doing in Chicago?

And this, we shall see.

That’s right, no resolution just yet. This is my summer cliff-hanger.

***

Aug

Can I Touch Your Hair?

“Can I touch your hair?”

“No”, is what I should have said. Or “that’s weird.” Instead I stared blankly at her and said “sure!”

Maybe I should provide some context. I get this all the time, sometimes in different variations like “Funny, you don’t have an accent” or “both of your parents are Puerto Rican,” but they’re different questions asking the same thing.

This time it was asked by girl who walked into the bar where my friends and I were celebrating a successful Writing 6 show. She apparently knew someone at our table and joined us.

I don’t know how we got to this, but it’s one of my friend’s favorite party tricks, so I’m not surprised. He asked this girl to guess where I was from. Oh goodie, let’s pretend this will have a different outcome.

She stared at me, quite intently. I’m not sure what my face was saying, or if it was giving off any nationality vibes. And that’s when she squinted a little and said “Can I touch your hair?” What followed was probably the most awkward interaction I can imagine. I would have paid some serious money to see what my face looked like as I stretched over the long bar table over to her.

She squeezed the hair bun, and after what seemed like hours of her wheels turning as an exercise in futility, she shifted back in her bench and triumphantly announced:

“You’re Greek!”

My so-called friend smirked in delight. As if saying “HA! Once again you have been deceived!”

I politely corrected her, no – that would be Puerto Rican. I felt bad. She was so sure after her fact-based assumption. I can only imagine that comes from years of hair-texture research, it’s understandable that she was disappointed in my non-Greekness.

“Hmmm, interesting, you have Greek hair!”

Again, I should have said something, but I was stunned by the series of events. To be honest, I never really have a response for these things. I mean, what does it mean to look Puerto Rican? Or Greek for that matter? I forgot to wear my Puerto Rican flag.

I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that you couldn’t peg where I was from, or are somehow concerned that I don’t look like J.Lo, am not obsessed with spandex and lip liners.

Should I take off my nails, and my hair extensions? Should I wave my finger? Say something like “Ay esto se va a poner bien feo!” Does that make my Puerto Rican-ness more palatable and relatable? Should I be darker? Or lighter? Or have more product in my hair?

I’m being unfair. I can see your confusion. Your perception of me is not in my hair, but in how you perceive my hair should be. My perception of me is not so simple. I was raised in the island, but I am not the island. It is a part of who I am, but it is not the only defining factor of who I am.

But who knows… maybe I have it all wrong.

***

This was a story written for my “Tell Your Story” class. It’s all true – along with my deep thoughts on it.

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Jun

Brian Fellows – That’s Crazy!

Summer is here! The fresh cut grass, beer, greasy food, and strong BO… how some people don’t like baseball will remain a mystery to me.

Imagine my happiness when I found out I would be going to 2 baseball games in 1 week!! The Fates were truly smiling at me, I did something right. I felt all Charlie Sheen with the winning and tiger blood. These games would also be my first White Sox games… South Siiiiiiide!

The games spanned a Wednesday and Thursday, and the two days could not have been more different. So, while they were both games of the same series at the same ball park, they were attended with completely different people and appealed to 2 very different sides of me. I worked extra hours a couple of days that week so that I could leave early on Wednesday. I met up with Kaitlin to celebrate her recent acceptance into the Second City conservatory. We decided to celebrate with an impromptu picnic at Lincoln Park (grocery quick stop at Treasure Island – best name for a grocery store ever.) It was a beautiful day… and we befriended a seagull whom we both decided to name “Peter.” Peter had a lot to say, and hung out a bit with us. He was a bit elusive, but we caught some video of him before he flew back home to his wife. They came back later, I don’t think she was very impressed with us. (Also, I’m not very smart with technology and couldn’t compress the video or reformat it to upload into the blog. I will try at a later date.)

We had veggies, chips, hummus, and brie cheese for lunch. For desert we had strawberries, assorted nuts and dark Godiva chocolate. To drink we had a nice Carbernet-Sauvignon. Oh yeah, we went all fancy on this outing! Also, that may be the reason Peter was so willing to “talk” to us!

First game, tailgate with some amazing teachers, and bleachers experience. A little drinking, and funnel cake!! I think the last time I had funnel cake was in 2000 at Hershey Park during the Red Hot Chili Peppers/Foo Fighters concert. (Yes, I remember clearly because it was the first time I ever had funnel cake. We don’t have those in PR.)

Unfortunately, it was a loss for the White Sox… but a win for the company and food.

Big thanks to Aimee for getting the tickets, and inviting me.

***

The second game was a WIN for the White Sox, and it was an outing with the work peeps. We had box seats at the Gold Coast Tickets Box seats in U.S. Cellular Field. It was a pretty sweet deal! The food and the drinks were included, and they ran the name of our company at the top of the 3rd inning, feeling important and stuff. We were, yet again, a large and loud crowd.

We were that close to home plate that this was an actual concern. It’s a funny sign.

Oh yeah, fireworks for the win… I was screaming like a little kid on 4th of July.

***

And now the reason for the title…

While it has NOTHING to do with baseball it has everything to do with the magnificence of someone I spotted while sitting in the Gold Coast Ticket area. Down below, a section away from home plate… there he was! Brian Fellows! No, not Tracy Morgan, but a man in a full safari outfit AND hat. Tell me that’s not worth a mention? He should really have his own blog entry, maybe followed by a few poems and dedications.

OK, I may have been the only one to see it, but that’s why I had to take photographic evidence! Who was going to believe such an amazing thing happened?!

Look, before you judge, or tell me this isn’t worth all the hype – let me stop you. Yes, yes it is worth it. It made me laugh, and every time I see these 3 pictures I laugh quietly and hum the Brian Fellows Safari Planet theme song to myself (which I hope you are doing now as well!) So, if just for a moment, it allows you to stop, laugh at something silly, and go about your business, I believe it’s worth it. I believe the hype and the title encapsulate what entertainment is all about. Baseball is entertainment, and live baseball is entertainment at its best. It’s not just the show on the diamond or the outfield, it’s all the characters that go watch the game too. And on this particular Thursday, on a warm June afternoon in Chicago, Brian Fellows got away from his animals for a little while to enjoy America’s favorite past time. The boys of summer are here, I wonder what’s in Brian Fellows’ conversation cloud now.

***

Apr

Grief Bacon!!!!

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

GRIEF BACON has finally come to realization.

What’s Grief Bacon? Grief Bacon is the literal translation of the German word Kummerspeck, which means excess weight gain due to emotional overeating. (Thanks to member Kaitlin for the easy worded breakdown.)

Grief Bacon is also the perfect name for the newly formed Improv group I have been blackmailed into joining. They hold some strange power over me, like telling me they liked my writing and I’m a strong improviser… yeah, they fed my ego, I’m weak, and I conceded.

So, now here we are a month into the journey, and a month away from our first gig! OK, so it’s an opening set at a really small theater, but you have to start somewhere! We’ve got sketches, we’ve got improv games, and we hope to entertain.

When? May 7th, Where? The Playground in Chicago. We’re here – It’s official. And here are some pics from one of our many sessions that usually end up with endless hours of playing with downloaded fart apps. Yeah, we’re high brow comedy bitches.